How to Sell a Haunted House, by Grady Hendrix. Penguin Random House, 2023
The first thing I’ve got to say is this: I’ve always been creeped out by puppets, and some dolls give me goosebumps, too. But the review in Book Page made this horror novel sound interesting, and the library had it via download, so I went for it.
As soon as Louise Joyner turned of age, she fled the home she grew up in. She didn’t stop fleeing until she couldn’t go any further without falling into the Pacific Ocean, and there she stayed, making the occasional, obligatory, trip back home for a few days. It’s not that she doesn’t love her parents- she does, very much- but rather that she just cannot function around them. They are a family built on secrets, and her parents were slightly neglectful in small ways- her father obsessed by his academic work, and her mother with her Christian puppet ministry and constant doll making, stitching away with her door closed. When she gets a phone call that her parents are dead, both dying in a car accident, she is stunned. This means leaving her daughter with her ex, meeting with her brother that she doesn’t get along with, and spending time in the house she grew up in, none of which she wants to do. But she gets on the plane and goes back east. Maybe she can get in and out quickly, and be back to her normal life in a few days.
Things go bad right off the bat. It’s creepy being in her childhood home alone, and she and her brother get into it right away. The creepiness goes into the supernatural almost immediately. It’s one of those stories where you think “Oh, no, don’t do that!” all the way through. The creep is not *just* supernatural; there are jump scares, and there is a LOT of body horror around both Louise and her brother. Violence fills the book, the kind of violence that you wouldn’t think a person could survive- certainly not survive and get back up and fight some more. Believe me when I say the tension never lets up- no matter what the narrative tries to tell you. Four stars.
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